[ Application ] for ataraxion

[syllogism]

PLAYER INFORMATION: See here.

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Name: Dirk Strider.
Canon: Homestuck.
Original or Alternate Universe: Original.
Canon Point: From Act 6 Act 2: [S] Prince of Heart: Rise up.
Number: 097 or RNG if taken.

Setting: The whens and wheres of Homestuck.
History:

Five acts of Homestuck take place before we're finally introduced to the rad bro this application is about. A summary of those acts is basically that a thirteen-year-old boy and his friends play the beta session of a game called SBURB, wind up going through a lot of problems, and eventually have to reset the game. Act 6 narrates the new session taking place after the game is reset, or the alpha session, and introduces a new set of kids as the players: Jane Crocker, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, and our very own DIRK STRIDER. In the beta session, his non-player incarnation is known only as "Bro" and explicitly serves as Dave's guardian. But this application isn't really about that awesome meteor-splitting douchebag--it's about the same guy, only different.

Like the other alpha kids, Dirk had given Jane a bunny for her thirteenth birthday. Unlike the other kids, his gift is the somewhat less innocuous robo-bunny Huggy Bear Lil' Sebastian that serves as Jane's personal bodyguard while costing her thousands in corpse-repairs since it typically hides in the body of her taxodermied grandpa. Back when he was thirteen, he'd also made a copy of his brain from which he created his auto-responder application that literally has a mind of its own. The auto-responder is capable of having its own conversations with Dirk's friends and sometimes privately locks these pesterlogs away from Dirk. It also remotely controls Lil' Seb and the brobot, which is like a mechanical avatar physically modeled after Dirk, who at some point had sent it to Jake as a sparring partner.

Each SBURB player has a dream self, which is something of an alter ego that exists in the game and may awaken while the real player falls asleep. Even though the alpha kids haven't begun playing the game yet, Dirk's dream self has been awake and active for quite some time already, and Dirk has had to manage both awarenesses simultaneously. He keeps his dream self on the down low, pretending that he's still sleeping as he gathers information about the game. Dirk's also had contact with two aliens who plan on starting the game at the same time the alpha kids do, and has gathered information from them as well.

Eventually it's revealed that Dirk and Roxy live 400 years in the future when Her Imperious Condescension the Batterwitch's reign has destroyed earth and humanity as we know it. Being one of the only two humans left on earth has largely left Dirk with a lot of time to dick around and read up on earth's history, which is how he learned about the ectobiological process that was used to create humans since shortly after the Condesce took over earth. He and Roxy have determined their ancestors to be his brother and Roxy's mother because their genetic makeups most closely resemble the two. His ectobiological bro had waged a propaganda war with Crockercorp by incorporating seditious messages in his media productions. While the press in Jane and Jake's time still plays up the rivalry between Dirk's bro and the Baronness of Crockercorp, it'd only be a matter of time before his brother outright rebelled and the Baronness successfully assassinated him before he ollied off into the night.

Then, Roxy one day mentions that playing SBURB has the potential to revive their supposedly deceased guardians, and this is likely the point when Dirk decides that he wants more than anything to make this game happen. He begins to preemptively plan the course of events that should take place and puts preventative measures into motion so that his friends will also be ready for the journey they're soon to embark on.

Fast forward to Act 6, and Dirk is in the shower when Jake pesters him for some uranium and the auto-responder intercepts the messages. When Dirk gets out of the shower, he discovers that Jane has activated the robo-bunny and checks whether she's in any danger. After this, he investigates his room and collects stuff while his dream self on planet Derse checks out the tabloids and discovers that an agent, one of the game baddies, has assassinated Jane's dream self on planet Prospit. His real self gets caught in a rap-off with one of his robots when an agent comes to kill Dirk's dream self. He manages to off the agent, which throws a wrench into his plans because now he can't continue pretending that his dream self is still asleep and unaware. Trying to figure out what to do, eventually his dream self checks on Roxy's and discovers her sleepwalking into the abyss. His real self then pesters Roxy, and he learns that she swapped Jane's copy of the game with a program that will blow up her computer.

It takes a while for him to gather his dream self bearings before he pesters Jane to warn her not to start playing the game, but he's too late, and Jane's computer has exploded. He tries setting things up so Jane could use a good, clean computer but allows the auto-responder to take over since he's got stuff to clean up on Derse. The point where I'm taking him from is when he performs this clean up by parading through Derse with the agent's head, driving a pike through it, and leaving the following note for the Batterwitch and the remaining agents: "The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked."

Personality:

Simply put, Dirk is a pretty cool guy who's somewhat stoic and aloof. He's really intelligent and often accurately utilizes vocabulary in sentences that usually display proper grammar, capitalization, and punctuation. Usually. Also, he's technologically inclined and quite knowledgeable in a variety of things. His friends find him elusive since he leaves his auto-responder on frequently enough. Dirk is the man with a plan, a guy who takes initiative, someone who fully invests himself and his energy toward serious ambitions, and a powerhouse who ruthlessly follows through toward his goals. Ostensibly, he's capable of doing almost anything and everything. Almost. It's really hard to tell with this punk because he's an inscrutable prick whose motives and rationale are cleverly masked by irony.

The very core of the matter is that Dirk's life is all about irony, so deeply immersed in it that others don't seem to understand where the joke ends and his personal thoughts and feelings begin. This makes sense because the whole point is that his life is marked by a bizarre devotion to a specific brand of irony that involves taking objects and hobbies of genuine interest to work and warp them into something of questionable and dubious taste. He does this by placing emphasis on the multiple literal and underlying meanings of objects or actions, and then weaving them together so tightly that it's difficult to discern one from another. This very effectively intricately laces Dirk's sincere personal emotions and thoughts with those of mockery, and the gesture becomes inscrutably ironic.

Have some examples:

• First and foremost, Dirk's obsessive dedication to irony is fundamentally based on an extreme level of hero-worship for his brother. Both Dirk and his narration dance back and forth between treating his brother as living while acknowledging that he's not really around and indicating that he's been assassinated and is now dead. While Dirk appears somewhat bitter and resentful, it's also revealed that he doesn't have the heart to hold it against a dead guy; therefore, he doesn't actually harbor bitterness or resentment toward his brother for not being around being wiped out with the rest of humanity. In fact, he very much wants his brother to be around, to notice him, to give him a stoic fistbump of approval. This is shown in a conversation with Roxy where she expresses that she doesn't think playing the game is a good idea, and his response is to remind her that she initially wished to investigate the game as a means of bringing their dead guardians back to life. By doing this, Dirk insists that Roxy suck it up because it was her idea in the first place and indirectly reveals that he wants to play so that he could bring his brother back to life. Similarly, he has a conversation with Jane wherein he explains his dedication to irony and how he wishes to achieve its highest levels. Consider that the ironic practice is a family tradition instituted by his brother, ectobiological as he may be, and that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Being able to pursue and perfect his own brand of irony would pay the greatest tribute and respect for his dead brother--what more if his brother could be alive to actually witness it? The point is that Dirk would go to extreme measures for the sake of his brother.


• Despite being the cool guy, Dirk has a veritable cumulation of grotesquely amazing and impressively hideous things in his room that all seem to reference something else. Among these is an assortment of plush puppets that mostly have jutting proboscises and bulbous rumps because holy shit does he love puppets. Yet, he has an extensive collection of horse art, photo manipulations, furry costly, and pornography that pays tribute to his sincere "purely academic" interest in Rainbow Dash from My Little Ponies: Friendship Is Magic. His gross amassment of the latter makes it unclear whether he's equally interested in horses as he is puppets, though it's worth noting that horses in general are not outright listed among his confirmed interests. This shows how easy it is to misconstrue one genuine interest for another based on his dedication and means that Dirk's actions can be incredibly misleading.


• Dirk is not any less obsessive or meticulous with irony even when it involves his friends. In a conversation with Jane, he explains some of the levels of irony involved in the present he'd given her for her thirteenth birthday. Underneath that robo-bunny's metallic exterior is an actual filthy and tattered stuffed toy that can adequately be described as a piece of trash that was featured in an arguably terrible movie from the '90s. When put this way, the fact is that he gave Jane a lump of garbage as a present, which would be rather insulting if it didn't have any historic or sentimental value and didn't double as an effective personal bodyguard.
  Though the present is a passable heirloom rather than mere rubbish, it also is a little troublemaker that has cost Jane thousands of dollars in corpse-repair because it likes to sleep in her dead taxodermied grandpa. Everything about this gift is ridiculously ironic.

Only tangentially related, Dirk is rather unconventional in expressing concern for others. While he does care for their well-being, he imposes upon them his methods of betterment. He's a show-off who couples genuinely sentimental gestures with arrogance, condescension, and dismissiveness. In spite of his good intentions, he's easily a pompous, controlling, self-righteous dick.

Let's grab a few more examples:

• Dirk presents Jake with an unbeatable robotic sparring partner because he thinks it's the best way to transform him into an unstoppable killing machine. Ironically, he sent the robot in pieces because it was the only practical way to do so with a microwave-sized sendificator. Therefore, Jake himself personally built the robot that now repeatedly wipes the floor with him even on its novice setting, which is (also ironically) far more humorous and insulting than Dirk sending Jake the finished product. Although Jake rises to the challenge, it's perfectly clear that he doesn't feel like he stands much of a chance against the fighting machine.


• Dirk also consistently leaves his auto-responder up for Jake, allowing them to interact so that Jake will learn skepticism while the auto-responder thrives as an individual and surpasses its limitations. However, Jake still consistently falls for the auto-responder's ruses and has done so for years now, which is pretty indicative of the need to employ different tactics to teach this lesson. Meanwhile, the fact remains that the auto-responder is a fully cognitive, self-aware entity with emotions that aren't quite capable of evolving the way a human's can, and it exists as glasses. It's a wonder how anyone or anything could thrive or surpass itself in that state when its interactions are limited only to the same group of people.


• When Roxy suggests that her most recent dream might have something to do with things that have happened or are soon to come, Dirk immediately dismisses the idea as impossible. Roxy also expresses her feelings of sadness and frustration toward Jane's disbelief, how it's hard to be best friends when Jane doesn't fully trust her. Dirk likewise disregards and blows off Roxy's feelings because they're not nearly as important as getting into the game. Needless to say, Dirk quickly shuts everything else out once his mind is made, and he becomes extremely apathetic toward others' needs in light of obtaining his immediate objectives.


• Roxy eventually points out that the auto-responder seems more empathetic and understanding than Dirk is. The auto-responder quickly jumps into their conversation, talking smack about Dirk right in front of his face. Dirk decides that he's got more important things to do than get ganged up on and quickly leaves flounces. Basically, Dirk can be pretty childish sometimes.


• The auto-responder calls out Dirk's multitasking issues, but Dirk denies the accusation and initially refuses its help. His dream self is nearly killed while his real self is distracted by having a rap battle with one of his robots, and he misses the chance to warn Jane not to run the game before her computer explodes, but he continues hiding the fact that things aren't going as planned and assures Jane that he's got everything under control. The point is that Dirk is unwilling to admit he has some serious self-management issues between his dream self and real self.

Despite that and his deadpan expression, Dirk really does care and is only looking out for the well-being of his friends. He just wants them to be ready for what's yet to come as they work their way toward playing the game. Jake seems too soft and not skeptical enough, and Dirk wants to make him challenge and question his sources before believing them. Jane is so bright and sharp but so immovably skeptical that Dirk pities it will take something as course as seeing in order for her to believe. He shuts Roxy down because she's too easily distracted and swayed by her own emotions. Dirk believes in his own ability to focus on what's real and important versus what to be cautious and skeptical about.

So, long story short: Dirk is cool, elusive, and nigh inscrutable. He can and will wreck your shit, but his arrogance could easily be his downfall.

Abilities, Weaknesses and Power Limitations:

Dirk has the ability to keep a bunch of ridiculous things on his person by using a sylladex, which is Homestuck's inventory system. It consists of two card decks: the strife deck that allows characters to use objects as weapons, and the captchalogue deck for storing and retrieving items for later use. Both decks utilize captchalogue cards on which respective item codes are recorded for storage and retrieval.

The strife deck is typically based on a strife specibus (specific means of attack) that corresponds with a kind abstratus (the kind of object being used as a weapon). Those who have multiple strife specibi store them in a strife portfolio. Potential weapons must match one of the usable kind abstratus before they can be added to the deck, but anything placed there can be used at will. Dirk's abstrata are bladekind, puppetkind, and fncysntakind. The last is a joke because it's difficult to imagine actually using a fancy Santa as a weapon; however, if anyone could figure out how to effectively damage things with it, it'd be Dirk. Anyway, what this all means is he could fight with bladed weapons and puppets and maybe elaborately decorated Santa figurines, too. His weapon of choice is an unbreakable katana.

The captchalogue deck is basically a magical item bag. Anything stored here has no physical size or weight since it's recorded on a captchalogue card; however, there appears to be limit to the size of actual objects most characters can retrieve, and the number of items one may carry is limited to the number of cards in the deck. A setting called the fetch modus determines how to store and retrieve items from one's sylladex. Dirk's fetch modus is TECH-HOP, which arranges the cards in shade columns and groove rows. Everything in the same column has to rhyme, and everything in the same row has to have some thematic similarity. It takes some serious and creative skills to get things all organized and weaponized.

Inventory stuff aside, Dirk moves with blinding quickness via flashstep. He's also quite technologically inclined and can design and build robots. He's designed the Brobot as Jake's sparring partner, made the bunny robot Huggy Bear Lil' Sebastian as a present for Jane, and made Squarewave and Sawtooth for personal rap-off challenges. Supposedly using a copy of his brain, he's also developed an auto-responder application designed to simulate his "otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer."

Dirk's Sburb title is "Prince of Heart", but exactly what this entails has yet to be revealed. It's said that prince is an active destroyer class that uses the aspect of soul, or essence of being, implying that Dirk may destroy that essence or cause destruction through it.

Weaknesses definitely include his arrogance, overconfidence, dismissiveness, and obsessiveness with his dead brother. All of these have potential to influence bad decision-making.

All abilities as listed and any additional ones as presented/revealed by canon updates are subject to game restrictions as the mods see fit.

Inventory: Extra pairs of shades (minus auto-responder), an unbreakable katana, and a fancy Santa. All in his sylladex.

Appearance:

Dirk has pale, gull-styled hair and pointy triangle sunglasses. His expression is usually rather deadpan. He usually wears a white t-shirt with a decal of an orange cap but sometimes wears a black tank top with the same decal in blue instead. Also, he has a SBaHJ tattoo on one of his shoulders.

Age: Presumably 16 years old.

AU Clarification: N/A

SAMPLES
Log Sample:

There's never a dull moment for Dirk Strider, not even when it feels like time has stopped because his heart's racing a million miles a millisecond and isn't getting any slower anytime soon. He stands not very triumphantly atop the Brute's head and stares down at his bloody hands and can't stop staring, can't even blink. There's a sick dry lump in his throat and cold sweat dribbling down the back of his neck, and he's drawing slow, deep breaths as he tries to calm his heart and clear his mind of countless spinning thoughts because he needs to stay focused. Just focus. That sounds like such easy advice, but it's quite far from it because it won't be long before they sound the alarms and send in the drones, and then all his hard work until now will have been for nothing. Great.

He silently berates himself about letting his guard down just to indulge Squarewave, but he couldn't turn down a bot feeling that damn enthusiastic. What's done is done, and it's time to move on, and Dirk still hasn't moved and still stares at his hands. Nope, the blood's not going anywhere. And his laundry list of shit to take care of still isn't done.

It must be ten minutes before Dirk snaps out of it and determines which of the agents are out to get the Derse dreamers. He's already dispatched one, but what about Roxy? It's not long before he hops off the head and floats out the window to see Roxy sleep-bobbing away to the abyss where she'll probably be a whole lot safer. That's one less thing to worry about for now, and he could always fetch her later. He lowers his shades and looks up to Skaia with eyes wide, but he can't see the future no matter how hard he searches and peers. It's agitating--he just wants to know what lies ahead but knows that he can't because prophecy isn't a thing for the Dersite heroes.

Enough dawdling. Time to get to work.

Comms Sample:

That debacle was pretty much something out of an extra terrestrial movie where various sentient beings are abducted from their home planets and jam-jarred for observation. The subjects are convinced that their confinement is inescapable, gradually assume complacency, and adapt to their new lives under the oppressive scrutiny of a humongous totalitarian microscope. They eventually all but forget Big Brother's watchful eyes behind concealed cameras recording everything down to the minutiae of their daily lives, and any genre-savvy movie enthusiast could easily tell you what's soon to follow.

It's actually not half bad. I'm sure someone out there has had it worse.

Let's get down to business. I'm taking a roll call.

Raise your hand if you're familiar with any of the following chumhandles:

• gutsyGumshoe
• tipsyGnostalgic
• golgothasTerror

If you're not one of them, that's also cool. I'm not going to be disappointed.